Matt Burke began his email to me by simply saying: ”I’m sorry.”

As he should be. This abomination really should never have been seen by another living soul. But since I had to see it, so do you.

Matt set out to do the following:

• Make something so bad I get banned from the Jersey Nerds and Icethetics.
• Make a jersey that will cause all viewers to question whether or not they really want to be a graphic designer.
• Make a jersey that will singlehandedly prevent me from getting hired for any graphic design job.
• Make the worst hockey jersey of all time.

Success on all counts.

On an unrelated note, this is the final time Matt Burke will appear on Icethetics.

(Kidding!)

Happy Halloween, everyone. Hope you don’t come across anything scarier than this tonight.

By the way, if you want a full count of all the cursed elements featured on this so-called ”hockey sweater,” Matt has you covered with this list:

• Canadiens barber pole as the base
• Burger King sash on the front
• “Turdburger” on the back
• Peyote Coyote on the hem
• Thrashers asymmetric shoulder yoke
• Canucks 1995 alternate gradient sleeve striping
• Fisherman crest
• Mooterus shoulder patch
• Lightning gradient socks
• Stars from 1982 All-Star Game
• Wild Wing font (or an approximation of it cause I couldn't find the file anywhere)
• Name under number from 2000 All-Star Game
• Vegas “chrold” helmet
• Blues 2007-14 pants
• “White” gloves
• Delta Airlines ad (which may or may not be a John Mulaney reference)
• Colors: Mustard Cat yellow, Peyote Coyote orange, Mighty Ducks jade, Kraken Ice Blue, Black